Thanks to Ramil's post on vldForum to guide me to integrate flashchat with 2.5.3 at: http://www.vldpersonals.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=2612
 
Backup before making changes.
 
Currently there are two versions of flashchat on tufat site. I could not get flashchat 5.x to install. I downloaded version 4.7.12 (last stable version) to integrate with vldPersonal 2.5.3.
 
Here is how I got flashchat 4.7.12 to work with vldPersonals 2.5.3
 
1. Download flashchat 4.7.12 from http://www.tufat.com (note: it cost $5). See tufat for support or purchase of product. When in tufat download area, there are two files you can download (as of Oct 19, 2009 - hurry and get version 4.7.12 before they change). You want to download flashchat 4.7.12 version.
 
2. Upload flashchat to its own folder called chat
 
3. To install flash chat use the following path: http://www.yoursite.com/chat/install.php
 
4. If your server is configured for flashchat, you will see all "yes" for your configuration.
 
DO NOT, check "Check here if you wish to integrate FlashChat with an existing bulletin board or content management system (CMS)..."
 
5. In step 2, use the same database configuration you used for vldPersonals. Leave the table prefix as the default: flashchat_
 

 
6. Step 3: Chat Configuration
 
a) Click at radiobutton "As a registered users-only chatroom. Users must register and create a profile before being allowed to chat (so-called "default CMS")"
 
b) Edit rooms list to your needs.
 
c) Select whether you need UTF-8 or not. You need it, so select it.
 
d) DO NOT check "Live support mode:" - for only registered users have ability to chat.
 
e) Default language as you wish.
 
7. Step 4: Default CMS
 
Select: I have an existing table which I want to use with FlashChat. Users must exist in this table before they can login. Also, I have my own registration and profile PHP files, which should be used instead of FlashChat's files.
 
8. Step 5: Integrating FlashChat with an existing user database
 
See image below for my settings and instructions
 

 
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CLICK http://www.filipina-lady.net/test253/flash03.jpg FOR LARGER VIEW.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
 
9. Step 6: Integrating an AI bot with FlashChat
 
Skip this step. It is a waste of resources and not very useful.
 
10. Installation is DONE
 
Now it is time to add a chat link in the header.tpl file so members can access the chat. Also we need to add the language to the language file
 
OPEN: header.tpl
 
FIND:
 
<!-- IF loggedin == "0" -->
<li>{anchor:url1="account/register/",url2="index.php?m=account_register",name="core|menu_register"}</li>
<!-- ENDIF -->
 
CHANGE TO:
 
<!-- IF loggedin == "0" -->
<li>{anchor:url1="account/register/",url2="index.php?m=account_register",name="core|menu_register"}</li>
<!-- ELSE -->
<li><a href="{virtual_path}chat/flashchat.php?username={session.username}&password={session.sessionhash}&lang={lang:"core","chat_lang"}" target="_blank">{lang:"core","menu_chat"}</a></li>
<!-- ENDIF -->
 
OPEN: includes/languages/english/lang.core.php
 
ADD:
 
// flashchat
 
"menu_chat" =>
"Chat",
"chat_lang" =>
"en",
 
Now we will add the flash chat admin link so the admin has access to the flash chat admin
 
OPEN: header.tpl
 
FIND:
 
<!-- IF session.can_access_cp -->
<li>{anchor:host=virtual_cp_path,url1="",url2="",name="core|usermenu_cp"}</li>
<!-- ENDIF -->
 
AFTER ADD:
 
<!-- IF session.can_access_cp == "1" -->
 
<li><a href="{virtual_path}chat/admin/login.php?login={session.username}&password={session.sessionhash}&do=1" target="_blank">Chat Admin</a></li>
<!-- ENDIF -->